A much needed pause

Assalamualaikum BEYOUTIFUL people

This year has been an incredibly difficult period for me because I was emotionally, mentally and physically tired. I felt less and less like myself and on some days, I just felt like quitting everything.

When it finally got too overwhelming (it did), I paused. I paused a lot on many things. And as I pause, I focused on repairing my relationship with Him and myself. I feel that I want to take back control of my personal boundaries. And for the very first time, I no longer felt guilty and selfish to just do things for myself. I cut out everything that was weighing me down, and little by little, I eventually re-fuelled myself and nursed my jaded and tired heart and body back to health. I believe that if I had not paid attention to the cries of my heart and persisted forth, I would have very easily burned out, and start resenting the very life that I am living right now.

Throughout this whole entire time, Allah SWT has always been guiding me and sending me lessons after lessons to ponder upon. When some of you still message me and shared with me on how I am a great motivation to you and how you have been amazed by my strength throughout my sickness. How my sharing through my Cancer Vlogs has helped you go through some of your difficult moments too. Those vlogs that I did were absolutely worth it. And everytime I receive some of your messages through my inbox, it's really made my day. I sometimes gain new knowledge, new friends and I reflect on myself too. And self-reflection is really important to keep us sane and stay grounded.

But the biggest impact from taking a pause was that I could finally take the time to do some "deep cleaning" within the recesses of my heart, and to reach a realization that I think people forget, and I myself forget, that even when I do share all these "positive", "motivational" things on my social media, it doesn't mean that I have to have everything all figured out. I'm struggling just like the girl next door too, and that's OK.

But more importantly, I also realised that it's only because of the pause that I am able to steer myself to good instead of bad. So the truth is, I needed my pause more because it kept me in check.

Without the pause, I wouldn't have been able to go deep within my core to realise that the act of doing whatever I have been doing is not merely just work for me rather, it should be a form of self-love, because I'm re-learning and re-discovering things that are good for me and my Self-Betterment Journey.

Taking a pause made me realise these things so that I can re-focus and be better Insya'Allah.

So I sincerely ask for your prayers for this pause to be productive and beneficial.

I hope you'll take good care of yourself and if you feel heavy, jaded and / or emotionally and physically fatigued, I urge you, please take a pause: practice the pause, and when you pause, pray.

You'll be in my duas always,
Norsiah